So I started the evening out by thinking I would organize myself using the amenities offered by the laptop- seems obvious enough. After opening up the calendar though, I started freaking out about how much I've neglected to DO anything over break. I mean, sitting around was nice and all but now I've left a boatload of work for the day or two before I go back to break. And then I had a small panic attack, of which I've had many over the past few days.
So blahblahblah, 10 minutes of intense self loathing go by before I finally realize, it doesn't matter. I mean..of course it does, but not like I'm making it out to be. So much of my stress comes from my A) procrastination; of which I undoubtedly excel and B) amplification of every little minute thing. It was this utterly simplistic revelation that made me feel tons better. I'll get up tomorrow, go to work, come home and then actually DO something instead of complaining about how much I have to do.
It's almost like I feel I HAVE to be a stress case in order to succeed. Like, if i'm not stressed, i'm not working hard enough. Twisted, yes? Oh well. Such is my life.
