revelations

So for the past month I've debated whether or not to actually post again. Then I decided I doubted anyone would read this anyway, and decided to just go for it. I was thrilled to get my new macbook today, on which I'm currently writing this. Putting all the little technological pieces together when I actually turned it on wasn't fun but I'm dealing with it by avoiding the difficult stuff altogether.

So I started the evening out by thinking I would organize myself using the amenities offered by the laptop- seems obvious enough. After opening up the calendar though, I started freaking out about how much I've neglected to DO anything over break. I mean, sitting around was nice and all but now I've left a boatload of work for the day or two before I go back to break. And then I had a small panic attack, of which I've had many over the past few days.

So blahblahblah, 10 minutes of intense self loathing go by before I finally realize, it doesn't matter. I mean..of course it does, but not like I'm making it out to be. So much of my stress comes from my A) procrastination; of which I undoubtedly excel and B) amplification of every little minute thing. It was this utterly simplistic revelation that made me feel tons better. I'll get up tomorrow, go to work, come home and then actually DO something instead of complaining about how much I have to do.

It's almost like I feel I HAVE to be a stress case in order to succeed. Like, if i'm not stressed, i'm not working hard enough. Twisted, yes? Oh well. Such is my life.

The Beginning

It seems appropriate that my first post for a blog about having too much stress would be during exam week. True, I am taking valuable time out when I should be studying Oedipus and his mommy complex, but without my tendency to procrastinate, I would have no subject for this blog in the first place.

I suppose it would be a decent idea to talk a little bit about myself and explain the whole premise behind my uniquely thought up title. I'm 17, a senior in high school, and a self-proclaimed teenage stress addict. In case you hadn't quite caught on to that yet. While the title is a horrible rip-off of Confessions of a Shopaholic (which I probably qualify for anyway...), it is a relatively (completely) accurate description. While it seems counter-productive to be adding something onto my plate when I'm already so stressed out, I actually hope that this will act as a creative outlet for some of my stress.

So, why am I so stressed out? I believe the better question might be, why am I not stressed out. I'm taking a rigorous school schedule this year and I'm headed off to University of Michigan (!!) next fall, so there's a lot on my plate now and a lot on my mind for the future. It's a difficult transition period and what better way to deal with it then to talk..to myself! We'll see where this blog goes, in what direction I choose to take it day-to-day, and how often I even post.

Here's to hoping that this works out! In the meantime, I should probably get back to Oedipus, Raskolnikov, and Gregor Samsa. Because really, failing the AP English exam would be just another thing to stress about...